teapot1

teapot1

Tuesday, July 31, 2012

Unfaithful


This is a story about the impulse to stray. This is a story about infidelity and guilt feelings. It’s not about marital infidelity; it’s not about romantic relationships at all. Yet it’s a kind of infidelity that every woman has committed—or thought about committing—at some time in her life.



          This is a story about cheating on someone you’ve been loyal to for years. You see this person regularly. You sit in his or her chair. He or she stands behind you or beside you, giving you full attention for a half-hour or an hour every time.



You tell him things about your life, and he listens while his hands massage your scalp, slip through your hair, clip, cut, curl. It is an intimate relationship you have with him; very few people know as much about you as he does. You tell him about what you’re going through with your mother, and he sympathizes, having lost his own mother a few years ago. You talk about politics, about your vacations, about your dogs, his and yours. He knows where you live. You’re not much of a talker; you’re a private person, and sometimes it’s difficult for you to keep talking about yourself, yet you do, partly because he expects you to; it’s the culture of the place.



At the end of your meetings you look into the mirror and there you are—a new woman. And you pay him. Cheaper than a therapist; more expensive, maybe, than a bartender; and your hair looks great. How many long-term relationships work so well?



          Except that one time there’s a little doubt, a little restlessness stirring in you. You feel like you want a change.





          It’s past mid-July. My hair is wild with rapid summer growth and humidity. I”ve reached the point of emergency: I can’t stand it anymore. Two months ago Frank did my color and cut, but it’s time for another one. And the guilt-inducing thoughts come creeping in. I wasn’t as happy with the cut he gave me last time. He didn’t make it short enough. It didn’t fall into the nice style it usually does when he cuts it.



I have a rare day off, and I need to go shopping—July is almost over and I still haven’t bought any new summer clothes. If I go to the mall, I can get a haircut there and shop afterward. Frank’s shop is just a couple of blocks from my house, but I’d have to make an appointment, and by the time I got in and out it might be too late to go shopping. So I decide.



          The J. C. Penney salon does a nice job, and I feel much better. I have lunch and manage to pick up a few things I needed—shorts, a few tank tops. It was a good trip. But now I begin to have second thoughts. What if I run into Frank on the street? Will he look at me and say, “Your hair hasn’t grown much”? Will he not say anything but think I’ve left him for someone else?



It’s an odd situation. How much loyalty does a woman owe her hairdresser? I tell myself I’m just one of his customers, it’s business, I have the right to have my hair done anywhere I want to. But it doesn’t feel that way. I’m picturing myself skulking around the neighborhood like an adulteress, crossing the street if I see him, darting into doorways like a character in an old film noir. I know I’ll return to him, but for now, I feel like a traitor.



Maybe I should start wearing a hat when I go out.



Have you ever “broken up”—even temporarily—with your hairdresser? How did you do it?

9 comments:

  1. At first I thought that this post was about Kirsten Stewart and Robert Pattinson.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Aha, Michael, caught you reading the headlines on the tabloids!

      Delete
  2. Free yourself Elaine - don't even think of wearing that hat! Of course, that's easy for me to say as I have NEVER had a regular hairdresser. My hair is very fine, very straight and long. Cut it myself for at least 30 years now. (Barring a crazy time when I tried to have it permed - I was the hairdressers nightmare!). If one strays, this is certainly the way to do it! Would love to see a new pic of the new cut too!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Amy, you don't know how much I envy you. People have always told me how "lucky" I was to have curly hair. Yeah. Well, I didn't feel lucky in high school, when I longed for long, straight hair. I don't hate it now as much as I used to--except on humid, frizzy days. Thanks for reading.

      Delete
  3. I understand fully, I was devastated when my hairdresser decided to raise her kids instead of doing hair, who was she thinking of anyway. My "new" (about 3 years now)hairdresser is good and a very nice kid, but sometimes I think of the possibilities of change. BTW who is Kirsten Stewart and Robert Pattinson?

    Another great read from an excellent writer, who delivers the vital topics of the day with a bit of humor.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks, Pam. I think your current hairdresser does a very nice job with your hair. And I have to admit I also read the tabloid headlines--Kristen and Robert are the stars of the Twilight movies and a couple in real life, but she admitted having an affair with someone else and regretting it. Is that right, Michael?

      Delete
  4. I've never had such a relationship with a hairdresser. Maybe because I don't care about my hair so much! And I hate spending hours and hours on my precious weekends or in my free time getting a snip. I generally go to one of those express places, it usually works out for the best, and when it doesn't my hair grows.

    ReplyDelete
  5. I wish I didn't have to care about my hair, but because of my natural frizz, I can't let it go for too much time without a cut, and I've had a couple of bad experiences with stylists who really didn't know how to cut it right to tame the frizz. Thanks for stopping by and commenting!

    ReplyDelete
  6. As a retired hairdresser, may I add my 2 pennies worth? I adored people who thought like you, that they were cheating on me and I had a few that I called 'fly by nights' because they just went wherever they happened to be when a mood came over them for a trim or color or whatever. I didn't pay my bills on those people. I paid my bills on the loyal clients. I wanted to hear if they were less than pleased with a cut, last time. Tell him. He is counting on his regulars to pay his bills.
    That being said, you have a right to change. If you are dissatisfied with his work or just want a change...then change! You don't owe him. I'm just saying the opposite, he owes you.

    I always felt I owed my regulars for their loyalty and though I hated losing one, I understand wanting change.

    ReplyDelete