teapot1

teapot1

Friday, July 18, 2014


Menopause: A Scientific Experiment

 

Now, please. Do you see this circle on the floor? Please step inside it. Good.

Now we’re going to set the circle on fire, and see:

How long before you take off your jacket, your sweater?

How long before you roll up the sleeves of your shirt, open it at the collar?

How long before your forehead, your torso, break into sweat?

Time check time check time check…excellent.

Thank you for your cooperation. And for your participation in this experiment, you receive this certificate of initiation: you are officially menopausal.

The culmination  of some thirty-, forty-odd years of monthly pain and bleeding.

Oh, and we must warn you that what you experienced today will come back,

six or seven or eight times a day,

we can’t say for how many years,

but when it stops you will be too old to enjoy the freedom,

perhaps bent with arthritis, osteoporosis.

Congratulations. You are a creature of blood and fire.

You are a woman.

 

 

10 comments:

  1. (laughing) Well...maybe it will...and maybe it won't. That's the truth.

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    1. I really don't hate menopause, Carol. It hasn't been so bad for me, and is so much better than the monthly miseries! Thanks for reading and commenting.

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  2. Wow menopause, that was 10 years ago. I can't believe it seems like yesterday!

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    1. You're lucky, Pam. Mine came late, as you know.

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  3. Just believe it's starting here.......ugh. But, this did make me laugh! :)

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    1. I hope I didn't worry you, Amy. It hasn't been bad at all for me, really, except for those occasional hot flashes. I'm very, very glad not to have to worry about the "monthly visitor" any more!

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  4. Just as the song in the play Menopause states 'it's my own personal summer'.

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    1. Ha, ha, you're right, Linda! That was a funny play, wasn't it?

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  5. I'm not there yet but soon. Ugh. At least you can make fun of it!

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  6. Anna-Marie, as I said above, mine hasn't really been bad at all; I've been lucky. I waited long enough for it!

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